Mindset Matters

I struggle most of the time with the massive amount of things I have zero control over. For my entire life, I’ve found comfort and security in having a plan, following it through, and feeling in control over what can seem chaotic. But if you are someone who craves control, it can easily turn into trying to control the actions of others, and that is never good. For me, I’ve learned over time that the only thing I have real control over in life is my mindset. I can’t control the opinions or actions of others (a very valuable thing to know right now as people are hanging out in large groups and not wearing masks which is bananapants behavior), but I can control how I respond to it.

One of the beautiful things that has come from 2020 is seeing how resilient people are and seeing how shifting mindsets can change entire moods. This was supposed to be the fall where both kids were at school 5 days a week. I was going to have plenty of time to exercise, volunteer, and generally do whatever brought me joy all on my own for 15 hours a week. I could sit in disappointment over circumstances completely outside the bounds of my control, but instead I’ve chosen to find pockets of time to do what brings me joy. COVID times mean my husband works from home for now so I can sneak in exercise when he is on his lunch break and can hang with the kids. It also means they get extra dad time and that’s just wonderful all around. I can volunteer by masking up and safely delivering what’s needed or by virtually helping out over Zoom. It takes a shift in mindset and extra patience to make it happen, but I’ve tried my best to embrace the shift and find the good where it lies.

I know as I’m writing this there are so many people suffering and making impossible choices weighing the safety of themselves and their families against the reality of earning a living to provide necessities. I know that when I speak, it comes from a place of privilege because I am in a financial and physical place of safety and comfort. I do not for a moment want to diminish the struggles so many people face each day, pandemic or not. And I do not subscribe to the notion that you can “choose your hard”. I think it oversimplifies the issue by assuming that people have more control over their circumstances than they really do. The realities of disability, systemic racism, domestic violence, class and caste systems all contribute heavily to people’s “hard” and that should never be discounted or swept away.

I want to focus instead of mindset as a lens to view the world. My high school principal use to say every morning over the announcements “make it a great day or not. The choice is yours.” It’s that message that I look to each day when anything good or bad comes up. I get to choose how I frame everything. I get to search for the good in the day and that helps me manage the weight of anxiety that comes from any hard situation over which I have no say or control.

All that being said, please please please VOTE if you haven’t yet. While I understand that the election could go either way and I will have to wrap my head around the results no matter what moving forward, the choice is very very clear. Please vote for love. Please vote for decency and competency. Please. I’m going to write my blog for next week before the results come in because I want to talk about an issue that will continue to be of great importance regardless of the election.

I hope you choose a great day today. No matter what’s going on, you deserve it and your mental health will thank you.