The world we live in included me writing a warm, fuzzy post last Wednesday morning all about rest and giving myself a break followed by a Wednesday afternoon with a terrorist attack and the U.S. Capitol. I continue to have a lot of difficulty processing how long it is going to take us as a country to reckon with our history of white supremacy, but I also do not want to put my head down and ignore the news because that feels extremely irresponsible. I have lots of thoughts and opinions about all of the issues that contributed to our current state of affairs, lots of rage, anger, and extreme sadness. And I’m having moments almost every day where I find out someone I’ve known for years feels a high level of contentment enabling white supremacists.
So for today, I got nothing. No actual topic to write about other than a collection of randomness floating in my brain. Here goes:
- I bought a lot of books in 2020. I read a total of zero of them because I don’t actually love to read. But yesterday, a book I preordered back in October arrived and I’m already a third of the way through it. It’s called You’ll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey by Amber Ruffin and Lacey Lamar. Amber started as a writer on Late Night with Seth Meyers and now has her own show on Peacock. If you haven’t already witnesses the awesomeness and hilarity that is Amber Ruffin, please get yourself on YouTube and go watch all the things she’s done. She’s brilliant. The book is a collection of crazy racist things that her sister, Lacey Lamar, has had happen over the course of her life. It’s a lot, a whole lot. And it’s completely worth your time to read.
- We are moving in two and a half weeks. We’re only moving two and a half minutes away from where we live now, but my brain is full thinking about it. Mostly, I’m full of excited thoughts about having more space for all four of us to be, but I’m also just ready to get there and get moved in and settled. Patience is not my strong suit. Like I said in the last post, the messages come in whispers and I’m assuming the reason I completely out of character decided we should move in the middle of winter during COVID has something to do with the fact that I need to work on my patience. I need to work on adapting to change, especially positive changes. This is a good thing. Related, I will not buy every organization product from the container store. No I will not. Please hold me accountable as I stop myself from adding to cart.
- By the time anyone reads this post, it’s likely that the House of Representatives will be voting to impeach our current President for the second time. If you’re eight different ways scared and angry and worried about the people who will feel emboldened to do crazy stuff in the next week because they are mad their candidate lost an election, you are not alone. It’s cool if you want to remove yourself from hanging out on social media until President Biden is inaugurated. Protect your peace, friend. Also, maybe don’t elevate any one person to some sort of deity like status in the future. Democracy is about people, not one person. I’m out of eloquent words here so just please stop if you happen to be someone reading this who thinks it’s ok to blindly follow someone to try to overthrow a democracy and kill people. Cool? Cool.
- I haven’t baked anything in awhile. Partially because I have to keep my kitchen super clean right now because people are coming to look at the house here and there and partially because I’ve gotten bad lately at using my healthy coping mechanisms for stress. I’ve been scrolling through all the mess on the Internet rather than meditating and baking and walking. I’m gonna be better about that this week. I got back on the meditation train yesterday and was able to run pretty pain free. Now it’s time to make some brookie bars to eat and share. If you’ve fallen out with some of your healthy coping strategies, know that you can get back on the train at any time. You don’t have to sit in any sort of self-imposed guilt or pity. You can just jump back in. You don’t owe anyone or anything an explanation. Literally no one is watching the choices you make in your own life and your own home and judging you. So please don’t blame yourself or anyone else if you’ve fallen out of healthy for you habits. Just jump back in when you’re ready. It’s all good.
That’s all I’ve got. I hope you are well. Happy Wednesday.
Put Mama First 
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