Apparently there’s some mess on TikTok about it no longer being cool to wear skinny jeans and put side parts in your hair. There are many of my fellow millennials (read anyone born between 1981 and 1996) all in a tizzy because their way of dressing and styling their hair is no longer on trend. Y’all, we are somewhere between the ages of 26 and 40. Why do we care about being on trend? Why does it matter to any of us whether or not children view us as cool. Last I remember, when I was a teenager I definitely wasn’t looking at the 30 somethings in my area to determine what was cool and I am pretty sure none of them cared if they were on trend with the latest teen fashion choices. I for sure don’t remember any actual adult rocking glitter lotion and butterfly clips because they were old and grown and knew better.
I’ve seen a lot of people posting on social media this week about this whole side part and skinny jeans thing meaning we need to change our game. Um, no. You are a grown adult. Take your actual income and your Roth IRA and wear whatever makes you feel good. It truly shouldn’t matter what anyone else things about your style, much less teenagers. When in the history of ever did grown people look at children as beacons of style? Did I miss something or are we all insecure about getting older? Is that what it really boils down to?
I should add here that I’ve been at least 40 on the inside since I was 5. I only ever wanted to be around adults when I was a kid and didn’t understand why other people my age behaved the way they did until late college. I’ve never been one for rebellion because it just felt like a lot of risk to potentially get in trouble for something I was going to get to do eventually anyway. I’ve also never really bought into the concept of peer pressure. I understand that for a lot of people, being thought of as cool by your peers is the endgame, but also it seems like a lot of trouble to have to go to just to get people to like you. There are always going to be people to make a village with and those people truly won’t give a damn what you wear or what your personal style is.
My whole I don’t deal in peer pressure thing doesn’t mean I’m not susceptible to caring what other people think about me. I have a deep desire for people to believe that I am a kind, generous person who cares about the well being of others. I have spent many years trying to get on the other side of being a people pleaser but for me, that’s more about not caring if people think I’m a good kind person. I worked way too hard in the past to be overly accommodating to other people so that they would believe that I was kind. Being kind is awesome and I never plan to stop the kindness but I’ve surely stopped going out of my way to help people who genuinely just want to take advantage of other’s kindness.
I think a lot of the conversation about whether grown adults should adopt the style advice of children stems from a lot of people’s desires not to get older. That’s something else I don’t really understand. For me, aging has always been something I’ve looked forward to, probably because being an adult seemed way more fun to me than being any age between 8 and 18. I was meant to be a woman who goes to bed early and gets more excited about sweatshirts and robes (that’s another staple of my life from the past year that I’ve embraced) than she does about anyone else’s opinion of what is cool. I thought the whole point of being an adult was that you stopped caring about what anyone else did and just did you. Did we not all grow up with Oprah telling us to embrace our authentic selves? Did we not have a standing 4pm appointment with the queen herself so we could live our best lives together? Was that just me in every bedroom I ever had eating chocolate chip cookies every afternoon or was that you too?
Sidenote: if skinny jeans and side parts weren’t your jam to begin with, cool beans. You won’t ever find me judging your fashion choices. I might have questions sometimes (for example, where did the Amish chic vibe come from? And why? If this is your vibe, please let me know. I’m intrigued). But also, if you are comfortable and happy in your skin, you do you. Please do not for one minute let anyone, especially an actual child, tell you what you should do with your hair or how you should dress. The world has a multitude of issues that need our attention. What you choose to put on your body shouldn’t be one of those issues. Unless we are talking about masks. Wear your damn mask. If you don’t have one you like, get one of the bajillion other choices and move on with your day. After all, you are a grown adult person who knows how to handle their sh*t.
I’ll let you go but now I’ve got myself thinking about butterfly clips and 2001 and my friends Ashley, Erin, and Sarah. I hope you were as lucky as I was in high school to find amazing friends who equally didn’t care what anyone else thought. Happy Wednesday!!
Put Mama First 
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