Let’s start at the very beginning…

A very good place to start (if you get this reference, please comment below. Also, I’m pretty sure we’re best friends now). I want to share what led me to making the jump to put myself first with no excuses or apologies.

There’s this thing that happens when you think you can do everything. You burn yourself out so bad that you end up laid up in bed with mono. Ok, maybe you don’t but I sure did.

Let’s rewind a bit. In 2013, after living in Charlotte, NC for a few years, my husband got a new job and it brought us to Greenville, SC. As someone who has a strong aversion to change and has dealt with anxiety since she was a kid (more on that to come), I was less than excited to leave everything and everyone I knew and move to a city I never heard of.

Add on top that I thought this would be the perfect time for us to start trying to have a kid. I know, that’s exactly what someone who deals with change horribly should do. Because we are among the fortunate few who had an easy road to having a child, I was about 5 weeks pregnant when we moved down here.

I’ll detail all the stages and ups and downs of babyhood for my kids in many posts to come. But I can sum it up with just one sentence. Newborns scare the crap out of me.

Like, stay up all night wondering if they are still breathing and terrified that I should be doing more and what else more can I possibly do and why can’t I swaddle right and I’m terrible kind of scared. It wasn’t pretty. With either kid.

However, when my son came along at the end of 2013, health wise we both did great. Sure, I was worrying all the time, but the child didn’t even have a fever until he was 2. And as everything went at the time, if everyone else was doing well so was I.

Enter my daughter. After another lucky and easy pregnancy in 2016, my daughter entered the world complication free and full of snuggly goodness. All was going well. For the first two days.

Then we came home from the hospital. My mom (who is the real hero here, trust) was staying with us to help out and take care of our son while we focused on reentering newborn land. That night, my son got sick. Having trouble breathing, coughing uncontrollably, wheezing scary sick.

What followed over the next 18 months was a whole bunch of sickness (mostly from him and me) and lots of whining (mostly from me) about how I couldn’t do anything right. Sickness passed and we are doing wonderfully now, but when the fog lifted, I knew I had to make a change. Ever since I’ve intentionally and ruthlessly carved out to e for myself, everything changed.

Next week I’ll dive deeper into the whole mono mess, but I wanted to give a little background before doing a deep dive. You’ll see a new post every Wednesday from me and in the meantime, I hope we can catch up and chat on Instagram.

Please let me know what you think. I’d love to hear from you.