Self Care and Why What You Do Matters More Than What You Call It

When I started putting myself and my needs first, I went through a whole series of “self-care” techniques. The term annoys me only because people get so fired up about criticizing other people for how they take care of themselves. For some people, self care looks like pedicures and face masks. For other people, it looks like therapy and meditation. And for some of us (me!), it looks like whatever the hell makes me feel well and cared for that specific moment of the day.

My larger issue with the term is that we get so caught up in doing things “right” that we forget that no one is actually watching us or truly caring how we accomplish self care. The whole point of the exercise is taking time to focus on ourselves and instead we spend energy concerned with how others view us. It’s a frustratingly annoying circle and I’ve been over it for awhile. Once you decide that other people’s opinion of you is none of your business, particularly in the way that you care for yourself, you are free to do what makes you happy. Acting with kindness and respect towards others at all times does not mean doing what works for someone else to the exclusion of your own needs.

Because a lot of us love a list, here’s how I decide if something is the “right” kind of self care:

1) Does it feed my body, mind or spirit?

2) When I’m done doing it, am I breathing easier?

3) Do I now have the energy to move about my day as my best?

That’s it for me. If I can answer yes to those questions, then all is well. No where in my calculations is anyone else’s opinion. I realize that for some people, social media can feed into comparing oneself to others or feelings of inadequacy, but it’s not worth it. Your life and your energy and yours and you are the only one who gets to choose what you do with any precious free time you have.

If one moment of the day a face mask to soothe your dehydrated post-election stress patchy skin face is your self care and the next moment it’s a large piece of pie (or three) and the next moment it’s ten minutes of meditation, YOU DO YOU! I promise that when you let go of fitting into the box of what self care is supposed to look like and instead focus on how it feels to you, you’ll be freed up to find the energy and fuel to do the work YOU need to do.

What are YOU doing each day to take care of YOU? What does self care look like for YOU? Please leave a comment or send me a DM over on instagram. I’d love to hear from you 🙂