I Don’t Want to Go Back to Normal

I met someone this weekend (on a walk, distant and all the things ) who said they were “so over” pandemic life stuff. And I can understand in my head and my heart the desire to get back to hugging people again and spend time with loved ones. But there is zero part of me that wants to just jump back to “normal” the way it was before. To be clear, until enough of you people vaccinate that they tell me we have herd immunity, I’m rocking my masks. I have some cute ones and fully plan to rock that accessory for forever in public bathrooms if for no other reason that not to smell stanky smells. If I have a cough or one of my kids does, I’m gonna wear a mask. This feels like common sense at this point. The mask doesn’t protect me from your germs, it protects you from my germs. There’s few things that bring me greater satisfaction than taking care of my people. And for health purposes, you’re all my people. We are all each other’s people. 

I am the most excited to potentially see close friends this summer and let my kids play with their kids again if we are supposedly all vaccinated by May like they say we will be. I want to host brunches again and let my kids meet the other kids in our new neighborhood and just be kids. That all sounds wonderfully amazing. But going back to crowded places will not likely be my jam for awhile. That being said, I have concert tickets that I bought in February 2020 for a concert that got postponed to August 2021 and I hope it is safe to go to that. My mask and me want to go and I hope we get to. My concern about the fervor to reopen the world and get back to business as usual mostly stems from the recklessness we tend to operate with once we don’t feel like we need to worry just as much about other people as we do about ourselves.

I’m gonna need us all to take a hard look at what kindness really looks like here. It’s not an on/off switch that we can rely on when it’s convenient. It’s an all the time way of life. I’m worried that once we are allowed to see people again and have folks back in our homes that we will return to being selfish and careless. I’m worried that it’s going to be like when someone would have what they deemed as cold symptoms and chose to continue on like nothing was wrong. Then most everyone they came into contact with got sick and it was just a three week phlegm fest all in the name of someone not wanting to stay home because they didn’t want to miss out on the fun.

Hi, I’m Mary and I have deep seated trust issues surrounding sickness and people following basic rules of kindness and courtesy. Is quarantining for two weeks super unfun when everyone in your house is sick? Yes. Are you putting other people at risk of getting sick if you go out into the world all snotty? Also yes. Is it sometimes just allergies? Yes, yes it is. Do masks also help with the onslaught of pollen about to hit us? I’ll let you know in mid-April. I can say that my allergies were way better last spring than they have been in years so I say masks for the win on that one. It doesn’t help my trust issues that last March when this all hit the fan, the Internet was awash with people really asking if we had to wash our hands for 20 seconds. And legit videos left and right showed up of grown adults showing other grown adults how to wash their hands properly. I’m sorry, what? Ya’ll were really not singing happy birthday twice before all this happened? For real? 

I am self aware enough to know that there’s a large part of my introverted self that has had a much easier time in pandemic times than a lot of other people. I have been fortunate to have socially distant hangs with my closest friends for most of the past year and to live in a house with three other people. Any chance to feel lonely is quickly filled by the snuggles of a four year old ball of literal joy in the form of a little girl and full body hugs from the kindest seven year old around. And that guy I live with. He’s pretty ok too. I am extremely fortunate that all my needs are met and I have a very comfortable place to hang in. Many people sacrificed all human contact separate from the ever present Zoom in the name of keeping people safe. And I so very much want those people to be able to go out again and be with other people. But those aren’t the people I’m worried about. The people who’ve hunkered down for the past year even when it’s become unbearably lonely are the people I trust to use common sense when it’s safe to be around other people again. It’s people like me who frankly have been nothing more than mildly inconvenienced for the past year that I don’t trust. The people who didn’t have to give up much at all. Because I haven’t had to give up much at the end of the day. I’m worried about people in my position walking around all maskless and reckless and entitled because I believe there’s a slippery slope back to focusing on ourselves rather than our neighbors again. I’m scared that people who have the luxury, like me, to stay home when they feel under the weather to go back out into the world and spread snot town all around.

I say all of this realizing that I have absolutely no control over the actions of other people. And I do not intend to try to change anyone else’s actions or opinions about what the proper way to behave going forward is. I know that I’m only in control of my own actions and my responses to the world around me. However, I really hope we all lead with love and kindness going forward. Nothing bad comes from respecting and caring for each other as we respect and care for ourselves and I’m craving more and more of that. I’ve seen the folks around me this past year who seem to crave that too and I’m pretty jazzed to hug them once it’s safe. Thanks if you read this for sticking with the rambles. If you’d like to talk about it, I’m always happy to discuss or just listen. Happy Wednesday!